Recent Viewings

Flash Gordon: The Lure of Light and The Subworld Revenge
(1954 television series, with Steve Holland, Irene Champlin, and Joseph Nash)

That's right, kids, once more it's time for Flash Gordon, Dale Arden, and Dr. Zarkov! Time for rockets and rayguns, wobbly sets, weird science, and a warbly soundtrack full of frantically tootling trumpets!

In The Lure of Light, an Earth scientist discovers a way to "fly faster than light" [sic]. It seems to have something to do with turning on a Jacob's Ladder. No one knows what will happen to anyone who "breaks the light barrier". Maybe they'll be turned inside out! Or maybe time will go in reverse!

Unfortunately, Flash Gordon and Commissioner Herrig, a military officer with disturbingly bushy eyebrows, happen to be blabbing to each other about the top secret faster-than-light thingie when a megalomaniac evil space-queen happens to wander into their office. Oops! Our Hero comments that she's especially dangerous because she has the brain of a man. I think that's supposed to be a metaphor, but you never can tell.

Shortly thereafter, some goons kidnap Dale Arden. (Earth Central Command, or whatever it's called, apparently has pretty lax security.) They take her to the evil queen's planet, which seems to consist of a boudoir furnished in Late Victorian Chintz, one citizen (a housemaid), and an Elaborate Deathtrap. The evil queen wants The Secret of faster than light travel. Oh no! If she can reverse time, she can go back in time and conquer the galaxy! Unfortunately, she tries to force the information out of Our Heroine by having the Elaborate Deathtrap suck all the oxygen out of her air, which seems rather counterproductive if speech is desired. But then again, I don't know much about being an evil megalomaniac space-queen, so who am I to comment? After wavering a bit, Our Heroine bravely refuses to yield the information, and the evil queen drains the last bit of oxygen out of her air and kills her. Again, this seems rather counterproductive, but who am I, etc.

Meanwhile, Our Hero and Dr. Zarkov have been flying [sic] to the evil queen's planet. Fortunately her planet has pretty lousy security, too, since immediately after the planet appears in front of them, they burst into the Elaborate Deathtrap where the evil queen and her one subject have just offed Dale Arden.

Alas! If only there were some way to reverse time.... (Hint, hint.)

Actually, come to think of it, it's no sillier than Superman.

But in The Subworld Revenge, things get even goofier. The king of the "subworld" is back up to his old tricks, trying to find a way to burst out into the surface world and CONQUER THE WORLD! by releasing flows of lava. The actor playing the king of the subworld seems to enjoy hamming it up, and the result is something like Richard III as played by one of the Three Stooges. Apparently it doesn't take much to rule the Subworld, whose other inhabitants seem to be chubby morons in diapers, who grunt incoherently when not flailing around ineffectually with bullwhips that they clearly have no idea how to use.

Fortunately, Dr. Zarkov has just figured out a way to look through the mass of the Earth and watch what the Subworlders are up to. Also fortunately, Our Heroes still have the Earth-burrowing vessel called The Earthworm with which they defeated the Subworld in a previous episode. Now it's up to them to save the world again. They don't seem to be disturbed by the fact that the corrugated-metal walls of their ship visibly flap up and down whenever it's in motion.

The scientific terminology in this episode is a joy. Dr. Zarkov, before heading off the to subworld, packs a trip bag with useful things like Anti-Heat Serum, Atomic Demagnetizers and concentrated oxygen tubes. When Our Heroes head downward in The Earthworm, we find out that they cannot receive messages from the surface because the earth-burrowing vessel creates a strong electrostatic field that destroys all sound waves.

Which turns out to be important because... oh no! It's a trap!

The fun of Flash Gordon isn't in things like plausible plots. Nor the acting, which is somewhat stiffer than the framing for the sets. But there are other delights to be had. Consider, for example, the ease with which Flash Gordon's shiny blond pompadour defies gravity under all conditions! Or the sense of style displayed in his uniform! Has a white T-shirt with a cartoon lightning bolt sewn onto it ever looked better?

There are mysteries to contemplate as well. For example, why does one of Commissioner Herrig's disturbingly bushy eyebrows have a very visible hole in it, through which gleaming skin can be seen?

The visual effects, of course, are crude at best. It's tempting to laugh at them too, but on second thought I have to have a certain degree of grudging respect for anyone who even attempted to depict spaceships in motion given the primitive equipment available at the time. Some of them even have a certain naive retro charm. I mean, who can resist a space-speedometer with an analog dial?

Even so, the MST3K-style charm wears off after a couple of episodes, and I'm going to let my sense of humor recover a bit before delving into the two episodes of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger, that share the DVD.

PS. Noted in closing credits: "Filmed in West Berlin." Anybody have any idea why?