Biff, Pow, Shush Redux

It seems that other librarians have noticed and commented unfavorably on the Librarian Action Figure and her Amazing Push-Button Shushing Action. Despite my slightly snarky previous comments on this, I wonder whether those who object so strenuously have any constructive alternatives to offer, or are just reinforcing the stereotype of librarians as cranky, literal-minded sourpusses who can't take a joke. It's hard to think of suitable action-figure features for librarians, since most of the tasks they perform are considerably more complex and abstract than, say, launching plastic thunderbolts, or bopping bad guys upside the head with improbably-proportioned fists, and thus difficult to replicate in a toy. Computer keyboards or reference books scaled to match a five-inch high figure would be pretty useless. Shredding miniature library circulation records, disabling internet filters, or waving copies of the Constitution in John Ashcroft's face would be difficult to reproduce in plastic, as well as being unpopular with the Powers That Be.

Perhaps they'd prefer the projectile hair bun?