A Small Prayer

I spent the first part of today (Friday) looking for an alternative (read: cheaper) place to live, and the second part at the Soo Line Historical and Technical Society's annual convention in Gladstone, Michigan. While driving home and idly twirling the radio dial, I came across something called the "Gospel Opportunities Radio Network". (GORN?) The soaring, triumphant voices of the echo-enhanced choir and their synth-brass accompaniment seemed like an ironic soundtrack to my life, much like Brian cheerfully singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" while being executed, or Alex and his droogs committing mayhem to the bouncy strains of "Singin' in the Rain". And so I drove a while through the dark pine woods in the sort of meditative state that is inspired by headlights, highway lines, and long, deserted roads, all the while habitually listening for any telltale signs that my 18 year and 200,000 mile old pickup truck was preparing to throw off a belt, blow a seal, or otherwise self-destruct in some creative way.

And then The Voice came on. I could almost hear his shellacked hair and polyester suit as he intoned the following words in a fake-folky tone: "You know, folks, prayer is like room service, with everything charged to the Big Credit Card in the Sky!"

How long, O Lord, will the false prophets of Prosperity Theology infest the land, teaching people that You are merely a Big Credit Card in the Sky, or a Celestial Cash Register that will spew out whatever they desire if they are "Holy enough", send the right amount of bribe or protection money to the right denominational leader, or speak the right magic spell and call it a prayer? That You work for them, rather than the other way 'round? And that those who don't have shiny cars and big houses in fashionable communities are that way because You are righteously "punishing" them?

How long, Lord, how long?

Oh, and please forgive me for thinking that The Door is pretty damn funny, especially that article about the Prayer of Lamech.