I want to be an ornamental hermit.

Every English grotto back then had to have one: a robed, bearded figure who now and then emerged from his hutch to amaze guests with his visionary mumblings. Of course, ornamental hermits in effect had tenure: health care, room and board, free robes. They merely had to have theatrical sense and impeccable wisdom -- which, as Ms. Mentor knows, was as rare then as it is now. But if you had it, you could make a career of flaunting it.

Sadly, says Miss Mentor, "Jobs for smart misanthropes are harder to come by nowadays."